Few years back I met this American guy, the Vietnam war veteran. He told me these stories about how it was back there, in the Eastern Asia, fighting. No hero stories, no great battles, no proud-to-be-serving-own-country sort of things. Instead, he told me about all the incredible fears they had to live through, about the amount of stress they were taking on their chests, and... about drugs that they had to take every day in tern of not freaking out! All of that sounded truly nasty people, you trust me! You feel like crying while listening to it. But this one is not about war. At the end of his story he told me: "Hey, do you wanna know what this all made me realize? You can't take no shit from anyone! Your life is to breakable to waste time caring about people who do not treat you well!". How true is that?
I am scared sometimes. But I mean like really scared. Of many things. But most of all I fear that people who I share love with are not gonna share it back with me. You know? Like it is so tough to actually show people your emotions, to say how you feel about them, to try to get closer with them, because you never know if they will bring it back to you. You need a lot of courage to be able to live showing your feelings. But it is worth to show feelings, because at the end you will have the most important belief like Whitney Houston sang: "If I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe!". It's not if people will love you back, it's if you tried everything to be honest with yourself.
It is always incredibly difficult not to judge yourself if someone else leaves you. Like you kind of know that it is not about you, but about other person's weaknesses, but still there are these thoughts: "Maybe I didn't try much enough, maybe I should not have done this or that". I believe that there are no could-have-dones in these sort of moments. There are no random actions happening between two people. If something doesn't work out it wasn't meant to be. You are not able to make people love you, as they are not able to make you love them. Either there is something between a pair of people or not. Sure it is soo hard to think this way when you have actually been hurt but there is always this positive thing - there are people waiting to love you just for who you are. Sometimes I am truly surprised when someone shares love with me because I do not feel like I have deserved it. You know, like deep inside I always feel that I need to do something special to be loved. And I thank the world that the reality is not as I sometimes feel. Like people actually love you just like that! Do you know what I mean? What a great gift that is...
My dearest friends, DO NEVER TAKE NO SHIT FROM ANYONE! There are always these people who love you, and it is worth to invest feelings in them! And at the end of a day if you are not sure where to find them, just write me. I do always keep so much love to share with you! You mean the world to me and I am always ready to remind it to you whenever you doubt it! :-) I am so thankful to have you!
Ps. I have read this article lately saying: "If you are even wondering if I am writing about you, then definitely I am". I guess it works the same in here ;-)
Pps. There are few people that I truly admire for their willingness to follow their feelings. One of them on the picture!
LOVE!
