Do you have this feeling sometimes that life became temporary? I do have it often lately. What exactly do I mean? Ok so I am seeing this friend. Nice cafe, good tea, little chat... Everything seems pretty sweet, right? Alright, there is just this little problem, I do not really feel like I am 100% there. Yep, I feel like I am missing something at this very moment... I feel like to... check what's on by Facebook bay. OK, so I do check it... Nothing? What a surprise, I was there 10 minutes ago so what a hell could have changed since?! Oh yea I forgot, logic has nothing to do with it. Two minutes later -> refresh... and there is nothing new... Refresh, refresh, refresh... Weird? Is it really?
Ok, story number two. I am sitting in front of computer and just realize that I need to grab this thing from kitchen. Alright so lets grab it. And there I am in the kitchenm and... Now, I would love to remember what did I come for... What for god sakes was this important think to take... Thinking for one second more... Nah, not gonna happen... My little mind is not gonna cooperate with me this time!
Number three. I am watching this funny series. Lmfao sort of thing. At one point I actually laugh hard cause this funny scene made me think of the thing that just happened to me lately when I was with this friend. And now another challenge... Who was I with... Shit, can't remember... But that was like few days ago... I should know it. And again, nothing. Total blackout. Did it really happen? Maybe it just happened in my dreams.
And all that at the end makes me ask myself: What a hell has happened with me?! Why am I so distracted? Wait, I really don't know or am I only acting like I don't?
For some time I was only thinking if it is only me, or there's some strange effect that Facebook cause to our minds. And the answers came last thursday. Not for the first time, but definitely for the first time with such a solid accent. There we were in Poznań, Ratajczaka street (the one connecting Plac Wolności with Stary Browar), really nice new bar. Three of us. Having really deep conversation. One of these that hits you, makes you realize something important. Something that you already knew, but for some reason it gets as clear as a never before just in this particular moment. So there was a lot about how we changed. How we run every day, like we were chasing something that we don't even understand. About how we look at other people through facebook and we see only good things - parties, travels, smiles, hearts (<3 -> this ones), big plans, great friendships, amazing lifes etc. etc. And then we are with ourselves, not feeling that great. But how to speak about it outloud being surrounded with all the fantastic stories. Are we still allowed to say that we do not feel that awesome? Are we giving ourselves a chance to do it?
Thanks to this evening, that I am so grateful to my two amazing chicos, I understood that there are people thinking similar stuff, and that there's actually nothing bad in feeling this way.
OK now, time to stress out one thing my dear folks. All I wrote is exaggerated big time! Sure I know it. I did it for one reason though: just so you understand, why did I find it important to leave the virtual house of great friendships for a bit (maybe for a little bit longer bit, who knows).
Sure I know that all these thoughts are brought by the new stage of my life, and not facebook only. Studies are done. Good job, really nice one, but do I really want to do what I do, is this the thing that will make me feel happy. I am not saying that it won't... but there's always "what if". I like my town, but maybe there's some other piece of the world designed especially for me. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe... I guess that's what life gets like when you are about to participate in future-creation-process. A lot of 'maybies' appear on your way every day.
Alright, so at the end of this one, let me ask you one simple question my dear people: Do you know what I mean? Anyone with me on it?
Love. (Ps. some new hairstyle it is;))
Ok, story number two. I am sitting in front of computer and just realize that I need to grab this thing from kitchen. Alright so lets grab it. And there I am in the kitchenm and... Now, I would love to remember what did I come for... What for god sakes was this important think to take... Thinking for one second more... Nah, not gonna happen... My little mind is not gonna cooperate with me this time!
Number three. I am watching this funny series. Lmfao sort of thing. At one point I actually laugh hard cause this funny scene made me think of the thing that just happened to me lately when I was with this friend. And now another challenge... Who was I with... Shit, can't remember... But that was like few days ago... I should know it. And again, nothing. Total blackout. Did it really happen? Maybe it just happened in my dreams.
And all that at the end makes me ask myself: What a hell has happened with me?! Why am I so distracted? Wait, I really don't know or am I only acting like I don't?
For some time I was only thinking if it is only me, or there's some strange effect that Facebook cause to our minds. And the answers came last thursday. Not for the first time, but definitely for the first time with such a solid accent. There we were in Poznań, Ratajczaka street (the one connecting Plac Wolności with Stary Browar), really nice new bar. Three of us. Having really deep conversation. One of these that hits you, makes you realize something important. Something that you already knew, but for some reason it gets as clear as a never before just in this particular moment. So there was a lot about how we changed. How we run every day, like we were chasing something that we don't even understand. About how we look at other people through facebook and we see only good things - parties, travels, smiles, hearts (<3 -> this ones), big plans, great friendships, amazing lifes etc. etc. And then we are with ourselves, not feeling that great. But how to speak about it outloud being surrounded with all the fantastic stories. Are we still allowed to say that we do not feel that awesome? Are we giving ourselves a chance to do it?
Thanks to this evening, that I am so grateful to my two amazing chicos, I understood that there are people thinking similar stuff, and that there's actually nothing bad in feeling this way.
OK now, time to stress out one thing my dear folks. All I wrote is exaggerated big time! Sure I know it. I did it for one reason though: just so you understand, why did I find it important to leave the virtual house of great friendships for a bit (maybe for a little bit longer bit, who knows).
Sure I know that all these thoughts are brought by the new stage of my life, and not facebook only. Studies are done. Good job, really nice one, but do I really want to do what I do, is this the thing that will make me feel happy. I am not saying that it won't... but there's always "what if". I like my town, but maybe there's some other piece of the world designed especially for me. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe... I guess that's what life gets like when you are about to participate in future-creation-process. A lot of 'maybies' appear on your way every day.
Alright, so at the end of this one, let me ask you one simple question my dear people: Do you know what I mean? Anyone with me on it?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I wrote you some real nice reply but then I clicked 'delete' by mistake, if only the options were in English too!
ReplyDeleteIt is in English now! You should repeat what you have written!
Delete